All Ken Whitman's Hopes Are Nopes

Well today was a busy day for Ken Whitman. He's been all over facebook and kickstarter posting memes and faux-updates. He certainly seems to be trying to accomplish something today. Not actual work on any of his failed projects, mind you... but something's got under his saddle today. Could it be the attentions of a reporter from Fast Company magazine? Notices from kickstarter staff? The very public and recent news story of another infamous kickstarter fraud being court ordered to make restitution?

Who knows? About the only certain thing is that all of Ken Whitman's hopes are nopes. Let's take it from the top with Ken's "update" to backers of his KODT LAS kickstarter...

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NOPE. All Ken did here was post the exact same video footage he gave backers access to 6 months ago, 5 minutes short of the promised 22 minute episode, and complete with typo-ridden end credits. He further admitted that he lied about burning "20 DVDs a day" back in August, and that shipping would commence "at the end of August, exactly as we promised." For a quick refresher on just how many BIG LIES Ken told in July just before Gen Con, we suggest newer readers check our Ken Whitman Lie Detector video from that time.

Next up was this post from Ken's Facebook page:

NOPE. Ken Whitman is not printing high end art books and posters (at least not with the ancient printer pictured on his Sidekick Publishing facebook page), nor has Ken EVER printed high end books. His former printing business Rapid POD was infamous for books that fell apart or were misprinted outright. The spare few KODT cover books (about 20) that he gave Jolly Blackburn prior to Gary Con this year were his absolute best work, and that wasn't even Ken. Those books were online POD, and that was exactly the quality of the printing and binding.

Plus - check it out. Ken's Facebook post links to a new LinkedIn entry he created for himself. Apparently Ken also prints full-color "pliers"...

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Then there's Ken's insane social media image management. He changed his Facebook profile picture today to this (small children, those prone to seizures, and the easily frightened should scroll no further):

NOPE. Posing with a baby didn't even work for 1930s politicians, and Ken Whitman is definitely not pulling anything off here either. Not unless his intent was to depict how even a 1-year-old has better impulse control than a petulant man-baby scam artist dressed like an extra from 1 Million B.C. If that was the case, then well done Ken!

And finally, Ken responds via passive-agressive meme to the upset kickstarter backers who were somehow not impressed by his big update giving them access to the same broken video footage he gave them 6 months ago...

NOPE. It's accepted modern psychology that sociopaths are incapable of experiencing most of the emotions normal people experience - so technically Ken cannot love, not even himself. Which would be kind of sad if Ken's day job wasn't stealing thousands of dollars from gamers and their families via kickstarter, fake businesses, bad debt personal loans, and just general grifting. But that lifestyle is pretty much over now for Ken, at least in the game industry. Chessex deal? NOPE. Coming off well in a Fast Company article on kickstarter fraud? NOPE. Avoiding the court case that will inevitably arise from one of his many scams? NOPE.  All Ken Whitman's hopes are now nopes.

No Pay for No Show

Spinward Traveller... "Let's go nowhere."

Ken Whitman Copy and Paste-Dates Backers

Ever a model of efficiency of actual effort, Ken Whitman finally interrupted his Facebook meme posting long enough to update kickstarter backers today — all of them, on every project. And by all of them on every project, we mean all of them on every project with the exact same generic non-update that was copy and pasted from one project to the other (with only the project names changed).

Check out these two identical updates from the KoDT LAS and Pencil Dice kickstarters...

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Since even cutting and pasting the same non-update into 6 or 7 kickstarters is about 15 whole minutes more work than Ken typically spends on his backers when he's login lurking on kickstarter, one has to wonder why the sudden burst of faux-effort?

Students of the The Ken Whitman Method of living a job-free existence will quickly and correctly surmise that Ken is out scamming for more investment pigeons and run-of-the-mill vaporware sales in his various online outlets (see post below this one for more on that). Thus the sudden need to try and paint 6 failed kickstarters full of rightly outraged victims who are out over $169k with a nice fresh coat of bullshit and obfuscation. Word around the industry campfire is already out that Chessex finally turned down Ken's deal-of-a-lifetime to pay him to take on the Pencil Dice debt and kickstarter fulfillment, so of course he's now growing ever more desperate in his measures to solicit next month's standard of living funds.

Truly concerned individuals would be better off saving any funds they might send Ken Whitman now to help him out later, when this all ends with Ken in jail or a psych ward or both.

Ken Whitman Is the Danger

And a big hello to backers of the Spinward Traveller "TV pilot" kickstarter! Now that Ken Whitman has wrung every possible illicit dollar out of Knights of the Dinner Table fans, guess what? It's your turn in the scammer rodeo now, my friends. What does that mean exactly?

It means that Ken Whitman's SOP to fund his lifestyle has now turned its guns on you and other Traveller fans. Ken recently released another mediocre and typo-filled video clip that features the 1 minute and 9 seconds of opening credits. That's right — it's been 14 months since the kickstarter funded and backers now have around one minute of mostly-finished video footage. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

But why push this opening clip out now? There are deeper and darker motives behind this — ones that are easy to spot since Ken Whitman did the same thing with his KoDT LAS kickstarter. Note his Facebook blog posting the news of the "new" video:

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So the real reason Ken is bothering to post even 1 minute of Traveller footage is to drive fans to d20 Entertainment's online store to purchase loads of ridiculous crap that he will (unless a miracle happens) NEVER deliver to them... on top of all the Traveller kickstarter goodies already paid for by backers that will never see the light of day. Don't believe me? Go check it out for yourself. You can even buy some stuff if you feel like making Ken's rent and car payments in exchange for empty promises and vaporware.

It's the same song folks, next verse the same as the last.

Because that's how Ken Whitman makes his living. He is the danger... to your bank account.

At Least Ken Whitman Is In Good Company

Ken completely missed the irony of posting about Kim Davis on his own Facebook page — a person who has now landed in jail for choosing not to obey the law. That's okay, we fixed it up for Ken so that the disingenuous irony of him judging anyone else for failure to comply with society's laws should penetrate even his defiant level of cognitive dissonance.

You know what else is against the law, Ken? Selling people products, taking their money, and then not delivering.

Anyone invoked in the KoDT LAS kickstarter know a good Kentucky lawyer?

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The Proof Is In the Off-Putting

Well here it is — September 1st, and Ken Whitman's latest BIG LIE has hit its own self-imposed deadline. According to Ken, backers of the KoDT LAS kickstarter were to receive their DVDs (or Blue Rays), cover books, posters, and other assorted stretch goal goods "by the end of August."

And of course, all any of us have got is bupkis. Nada. Zero.

Even Ken's usual passive-agressive bullshit excuses have run out of gas. The latest one going around is that it's all Dave Kenzer's and Jolly Blackburn's fault for not letting Ken sell his shitty POD cover books at the Kenzer Gen Con booth, when he should have just printed a few of those up and sent them to the backers who already paid for them. Ken's also raging and taking personal swipes at Jolly, accusing Jolly of destroying his reputation. Right... Jolly destroyed Ken's rep. I think maybe 6 failed kickstarters in a row and a 20-year history of scammed gamers might have beaten him to it.

Can you say anti-social personality disorder? I knew you could...

Ken Whitman, We're Here to Help!

This Monday, August 31 is the date Ken Whitman said he'd have all the Knights of the Dinner Table Live Action Series DVDs burned and packaged for kickstarter backers. Is this another in a series of several hundred lies Ken Whitman has repeatedly told backers? I mean, why break a such a solid streak of consistent weaselness, amIright?

But just in case Ken does miraculously come through sometime before the heat death of the universe — or even if he doesn't but just needs to look like he did — we're here to help. Here you go, Ken. Here's your pre-made ever-defiant profile shot that you can post in a kickstarter update and all over the Internet, to your little three-sizes-too-small heart's content...